


stop the world

by where_you_go



Series: stepping stones [3]
Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Anal Sex, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Julie Molina, Bisexual Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms), Dirty Talk, Dom/sub Undertones, Dubious Consent, Grinding, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Insecurity, Multi, Oral Sex, Pansexual Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), Pet Names, Sharing a Bed, Threesome - F/M/M, Top Luke, Trans Luke Patterson (Julie and The Phantoms), bottom reggie, julie is a clothes thief, oops where did those come from, so much swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:14:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28424553
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/where_you_go/pseuds/where_you_go
Summary: Reggie's heart was always getting him in trouble. Or, two times his heart breaks and one time it heals.(Reggie's companion piece to 'a demon in my backseat'.)
Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters, Julie Molina/Reggie Peters, Luke Patterson/Reggie Peters (Julie and The Phantoms)
Series: stepping stones [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2056461
Comments: 57
Kudos: 109





	1. tell me you hate me, baby, yeah I bet you do

**Author's Note:**

> I know I said I would get Reggie's companion piece out in the new year, but I have a long drive tomorrow and I got too excited about posting this first part, so here we are. This will make a lot more sense if you read 'a demon in my backseat' first, but this first chapter does take place seven years prior to the start of that fic. 
> 
> I described this fic to merihn as "Reggie got horny and emotional" which honestly is the best description of this fic possible. Please heed the tags on this one, it does make the jump to explicit in this first chapter and again in chapter three. This first chapter also comes with a huge big warning for dubious consent; if you want details, please see the end note for spoilers/an explanation.
> 
> Chapter specific content warnings: dubious consent, drug use, fighting, referenced breaking treasured objects during a fight, very brief mention of suicidal ideation

Luke had been acting weird all night.

Reggie had originally chalked it up to stage fright, but that wasn’t quite right. Luke didn’t get stage fright, he was the most confident - sometimes even cocky - person Reggie had ever met. He performed like he was born on a stage holding a guitar, like he breathed music. And it wasn't like this was their first big gig. _The Orpheum_ was actually smaller than some of the shows they had opened for on their last tour, even if this was the first time that Sunset Curve was the main show and not the opener. 

So. Not stage fright then.

Still, something was off and Reggie couldn’t quite put his finger on it. 

Luke had ignored all of Reggie’s texts earlier that day and showed up about thirty seconds before the soundcheck had started, which was annoying to be sure but not all that out of the ordinary. And then he’d been practically bouncing off the walls before the show, jumping between messing around with his song notebook, tapping his fingers against every surface in the room, and draping himself over Reggie’s back to steal his snacks.

Reggie hadn’t minded that last one all that much, if he was being honest, even if Luke was getting his gross sweat all over his leather jacket. 

But Bobby had rolled his eyes at Luke and told him to “smoke some weed and chill the fuck out, dude”. Luke had stuck his tongue out at Bobby and then decided that licking a stripe up Reggie’s neck was a good use of his tongue. Reggie had startled so hard he’d thrown Luke to the ground, which was good because it gave him a moment to readjust his pants where his best friend couldn’t see the boner he’d caused.

Luke had laid on the ground and giggled for about ten minutes, which was when Reggie had decided he’d been acting weird. Even Alex had a look of concern on his face, and he’d been putting up with Luke’s antics since they were in diapers and should be completely immune to them by now.

At least he’d gotten his act together for the show. 

And what a fantastic show it had been. Cross-country tours were unbelievable but they couldn’t compete with the feeling of performing for a hometown crowd. 

Their energy was _insane_ , feeding off of each other, screaming their music to a room full of their raucous fans. Alex killed it on the drums, every hit like a heartbeat, pumping them up but never letting them get lost. Bobby with his red guitar and red suspenders knew how to put on a show, dropping to his knees at the edge of the stage so the screaming girls could reach out but not quite touch his larger than life presence.

And when Luke did his little head nod? Reggie would follow him anywhere. He couldn’t resist the pull of Luke’s magnetism, drawing him across the stage, leaving their faces inches apart, drowning in his eyes.

Nothing could ever compare to the weight of his bass in his hands, standing on a stage with his best friends, sharing his soul with the world through their music. 

Reggie fucking _loved_ his job.

He loved his friends too - loved them like family, the only family he really had, since he’d run away from home at sixteen and hadn’t talked to his parents since. 

And if anyone had asked - not that they needed to, he was pretty obvious about it - he couldn’t have denied that he loved Luke Patterson, and not in a brotherly way. 

Even when he was acting like a complete weirdo.

“Reggieeeeeee,” Luke whined, practically collapsing his whole body weight on Reggie’s shoulder and making them both stumble into the wall.

“Ugh, get off,” Reggie shoved at Luke, but he was like an octopus, winding his arms around Reggie’s neck and shoving his hands under his shirt, intensely warm and burning where they touched his skin. 

Bobby laughed at them as he passed them by, carrying the last of Alex’s drum kit out to their van. “Hey losers, don’t forget the extra amp cords from the dressing room, Alex and I are going to the bar to see if we can find a party to hit up!”

Reggie flipped off Bobby behind Luke’s head, but Luke didn’t seem to notice Bobby at all. He nuzzled his face into the gap between Reggie’s jacket and his neck, mindless of how sweaty Reggie knew he was after their performance. Luke had never had a great sense of personal space with any of them, but this felt like a new level of handsy and it was driving Reggie absolutely insane. He filed it as one more piece of evidence in the “Luke Acting Weird” column for tonight and did his best to ignore the lust that every brush of Luke’s skin against his own was causing to flare in his gut.

“C’mon then, buddy, let’s go get our stuff,” Reggie firmly placed his hands on Luke’s shoulders and shoved him away, pushing him into the nearby dressing room. He shrugged off his leather jacket, leaving him in just a white t-shirt that was soaked with sweat and his favorite red flannel tied around his waist over his ripped black skinny jeans. “Let’s see, if I was a power cord, where would I have put me?”

Reggie bent over to check and make sure they hadn’t fallen under the counter, but a strangled noise from behind him caused him to stop and look back. Luke looked flushed, red spreading from his face down under the collar of his shirt, and he was standing totally still, frozen and staring straight at him. 

“Luke? Are you ok, man? You’ve been acting weird all night and now you look like you might be coming down with something,” Reggie stood up and moved closer to Luke, intending to reach out and touch his forehead like his mom used to do for him, back when she still cared about her son. 

Or that was the plan at least, until Luke reached out and grabbed his outstretched wrist before he could reach him.

“Luke?” Reggie asked again, his breath catching as Luke started running his thumb over the soft skin on the inside of his wrist, tracing slowly over the edge of the guitar tattoo that ran the length of his forearm. 

“Hey Reg,” Luke replied, almost casually except for the way that he followed it up with a kiss to Reggie’s wrist, right where his thumb had just been.

Reggie felt lightheaded with sensation, confused by what was happening — though that wasn’t new. He was often confused, especially in new situations, with people he didn’t know. He was really only smart at one thing as far as he could tell, which was his ability to quickly learn almost any instrument, and he was used to feeling dumb with nearly everything else. 

He’d never felt dumb with the band though. He’d never felt dumb with Luke. 

This didn’t feel like normal though. This moment felt charged with a new kind of heat. One that Reggie had felt for Luke before, but he’d never thought Luke felt for _him_. 

“What — Luke, what are you—”

Reggie’s words were abruptly cut off when Luke tugged on his wrist, yanking his body forward and causing them to collide. He stumbled and only managed to stay standing because Luke caught him around the waist with his other hand, holding Reggie tight up against him.

“You’re gorgeous, Reg,” Luke murmured, glancing down at his lips, and Reggie felt like he might explode. Maybe the hot dogs they’d eaten before the show were tainted and now he was dying and this was his brain’s vivid death-induced hallucination, just a smattering of randomly firing neurons creating an impossible scene and —

Luke dropped his wrist and brought his hand up to Reggie’s face, brushing his fingertips gently over his cheekbone, down the length of his nose, and tracing around the curve of his lips. Reggie’s mouth was suddenly bone dry and he licked his lips, seeking out moisture but all he found was the tip of Luke’s index finger and they both shuddered at the sensation of tongue on skin.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Luke hissed, dropping his hand to Reggie’s neck, which was almost worse with how hypersensitive he was to his best friend’s touch in this moment. “Reggie — please, can I?”

Reggie had no idea how Luke intended on finishing that sentence, but also he couldn’t really find it in himself to give a fuck. He’d give Luke anything he wanted right then — _anything_ , just to keep him close, keep his touch, keep this moment. 

“Yeah, ok,” Reggie whispered hoarsely, barely able to get the words out of his mouth before Luke was crowding forward, even closer into his space, tilting his head up just a fraction of an inch to press his mouth against Reggie’s lips, soft and warm and everything Reggie’d been dreaming of since he was fifteen and he caught Luke kissing Tiffany Walters after band practice and found himself burning up with jealousy. 

He was burning up now too, but not with jealousy, with the desire that he’s kept locked away so carefully in his heart but Luke, as usual, crashed through his walls with no regard for them at all. 

Reggie gasped, softly, and Luke never missed an opportunity to press an advantage, slipping his tongue in the gap between his lips, sliding slick and smooth into Reggie’s mouth and he couldn’t have stopped the noise he made even if he wanted to. 

It wasn't like Reggie had never kissed anyone before. He had been the first person in the band to go on a real date even, and there were plenty of fans who had happily let him take them back to their hotel rooms after shows in various cities. But awkward lipgloss-sticky kisses and blowjobs from strangers could never even begin to come close to this moment right here. Riding that post-show adrenaline straight into some crazy new high of kissing his best friend, his fingers clenched tightly in the collar of his shirt, Reggie felt like he was being ruined for all future kisses. Nothing could compare to the feeling of Luke’s fingers tugging on the short hairs on the back of his neck, his other hand burning a brand through the back of his shirt, straight through to the skin of his back. Nothing would ever feel better than Luke’s tongue in his mouth, warm and wet and driving him wild.

He felt desperate, needing more, needing everything Luke would give him and knowing it would never be enough.

Luke must have been feeling the same because he groaned into their kiss and Reggie felt it vibrate all the way to his toes. He suddenly pulled back and Reggie couldn’t help but try and chase him, until Luke firmly grasped Reggie’s hips and started shoving him backwards, toppling him back onto the couch and knocking his head against the wall.

Reggie didn’t even have time to register the pain or the sudden change in position because Luke was climbing into his lap, straddling Reggie’s right thigh, and grasping at his face to kiss him again, blowing right past soft and sweet and landing firmly in the territory of mind-blowing and passionate. 

He was dizzy with desire, reaching out and grabbing on to the nearest part of Luke, which just happened to be the firm flesh of his sides where his loose shirt had fallen away. His skin was warm and dry and Reggie was already addicted to the feel of it under his fingers. He couldn’t help himself from slipping his fingers further under his shirt, fanning out his hands to touch as much as possible, to feel everything he’d always fantasized about, especially after Luke had abandoned his binders and his sleeves after surgery. Reggie had had many inappropriate dreams about running his tongue over the strip of skin that was exposed by the openings of those stupid cut off shirts over the years, but he’d never imagined that he might actually be in a position to live them out. 

_God_ , the number of things Reggie wanted to do to this man.

Luke’s breathing hitched as Reggie’s hands drifted further along his skin, fingers tracing the dips and curves of his abs, lightly running over his exposed hip bones. 

He hissed out a string of expletives against Reggie’s lips and Reggie wanted to hear that sound again every day for the rest of his life, wanted to record it and put it on the next album so that everyone in the world would know that _Reggie_ caused _Luke fucking Patterson_ to fall apart under his hands. 

His smugness was swiftly cut short though, when Luke moved against him, rolling his hips down against Reggie’s thigh. He was suddenly hyperaware of the leg that was slotted in the vee of his hips, pushing forward and pressing snugly up against his dick, which felt hard enough to cut glass in that moment. 

Rationally, he knew he should stop this from going too far. He should check in with Luke, pull them back, and then see if he wanted to go back to his apartment, where Reggie had a large comfortable bed where they could take their time discovering each other. If he was going to sleep with his best friend, he should make it special, not a rushed affair in a probably filthy dressing room.

He could admit that he sounded like an enormous sap in his own head, but dammit he’d been loving Luke from afar for _years_ at this point. He didn’t just want a quick fuck, he wanted to make love to him, to try and convince him to stay for more than one night. To stay forever, if possible. To love him back.

Clearly though, neither Luke nor Reggie’s dick got the memo about slowing down. Luke pulled his face back only far enough that Reggie could see the wicked grin he was sporting before he pushed his knee higher into Reggie’s groin, grinding achingly slowly against his erection. 

“ _Jesus fucking Christ_ ,” Reggie gasped out, unable to stop his hips from canting up into the pressure Luke was providing. 

He was fully clothed and this was still the hottest thing that had ever happened to him in all twenty-two years of his life. He couldn’t handle this. This was going to kill him. Here lied Reginald Peters, cause of death: Luke Patterson being too damn good at sex.

“You feel so good, baby,” Luke murmured against his lips and Reggie’s heart skipped about eighteen beats in his chest at the term of endearment. 

“Luke,” Reggie whimpered, clutching at his sides, dragging him closer, “Luke, I want—”

There was a loud banging noise on the dressing room door and Bobby’s voice calling out, “Luke? Reggie? Where the fuck are you guys? There’s a party happening at this chick’s place and if you don’t get your asses to the van I’ll leave without you, so come on.”

Luke was suddenly on his feet, ripping his warmth away without warning, leaving Reggie stunned on the couch, arms still partially outstretched and abruptly cold all over. 

“Yeah, we’re coming!” Luke yelled back, bouncing across the room towards the door. He paused briefly and shot a wink at Reggie before darting out the door.

And then Reggie was alone in the dressing room. 

_What the hell had just happened._

Glancing up, he could see his reflection in the full length mirror on the opposite wall and he looked _wrecked_. His clothes were in disarray and his hair was sticking up at odd angles from where Luke had run his fingers through it. His face was flushed and splotchy, with bright spots of red scattered across his cheeks and nose. His lips looked dark and swollen, still shiny with Luke’s saliva. A dark bruise was visible just under his jawline and he didn’t even remember Luke biting him there, but it was new and sensitive when he thumbed at it. His skinny jeans did absolutely nothing to hide the bulge of his erection pressing painfully up against the zipper. 

Reggie closed his eyes and tried to do some of Alex’s breathing exercises to calm himself down and will away his hard-on before he had to go ride in a van with the rest of the band to some random afterparty that he was no longer even slightly interested in attending.

Maybe he could talk to Luke there, to figure out what all this meant.

Maybe Luke would even be interested in doing it again.

Because Reggie wasn’t sure he was ever going to be able to go back to their normal, not now that he’d had a taste of what being with Luke felt like. No random hook up was ever going to be able to satisfy him now and that was going to be a problem until they actually sat and talked like the adults they claimed to be. 

This couldn’t have been a spur of the moment decision. Luke would never risk the band for something as trivial as sex. And he had been acting weird all night — maybe this was why? Maybe Luke was trying to tell him about his feelings? Was it wishful thinking to hope that Luke felt something for Reggie too?

Something delicate and hopeful bloomed in Reggie’s chest at the idea. He pushed his way to his feet, finally feeling steady enough to walk, a newfound lightness adding some bounce to his steps. 

He could do this. He could talk to Luke and tell him the truth, that he’d been in love with him for years and that he wanted to be more than just his bandmate and his friend. 

If he had to, Reggie could always catch him early at the venue for tomorrow’s show. They would figure this out. What’s the worst that could happen?

—

As it turned out, _the worst that could happen_ was actually so much worse than anything he’d imagined. 

He thought, maybe, he might have to spend a few weeks nursing a bruised heart if Luke hadn’t wanted a relationship. But this felt like the world had crumbled away under his feet, leaving him free falling with no end in sight. He wished it had just been about sex, but apparently Luke was willing to risk their band — their _family_ — for lines of powder and bottles of pills. The thought made Reggie want to throw up, to scream, to cry, to walk into traffic and not look back. 

Last night, Luke had called him _baby_ and kissed him like he was something precious. Today, Luke had shouted _I don’t need you_ and pushed him away like he was something repulsive. 

Luke had walked out on him. On all of them. 

What’s the worst that could happen? This, apparently.

Alex sat next to him while he cradled his broken guitar and tried to think past the high-pitched static that was filling his mind, his own brain’s defense against those ringing words that he’d never be able to unhear. 

“I don’t think we’ll be able to fix it, Reg,” Alex whispered and Reggie didn’t know if he was talking about the guitar, the band, or his shattered heart. Reggie wasn’t sure it mattered anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content warning explanation: This chapter is the scene that was originally referenced in Chapter 3 of 'a demon in my backseat'. In that chapter we find out that Reggie and Luke made out the night before the fight that broke up the band, but that Luke was under the influence of several unnamed drugs and has no recollection of kissing/making out with Reggie at all. Reggie is completely sober but unaware of Luke's drug use during this chapter and expresses a desire to have sex with Luke. There is clothes-on grinding that takes place, but Bobby interrupts them before any other sexual activity occurs. The entire chapter is written from Reggie's perspective and he does not learn about the dubious consent aspects at this time. 
> 
> The fic title is from "Love Someone" by Lukas Graham and the chapter title is from "forget me too" by Machine Gun Kelly and Halsey. When I write about Sunset Curve in this verse I listen to a lot of MGK as my soundtrack for Luke-making-bad-choices.


	2. you can lie to me and say you don’t

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is just me aggressively shipping Reggie and Julie for over 3k words. I just love them, your honor. The first part takes place prior to 'a demon in my backseat' and the second part takes place between chapters 2 and 3. 
> 
> Chapter specific content warnings: discussed drug use

Reggie didn’t know how long he’d been sitting at his keyboard trying to make this series of chord progressions sound right when his phone started vibrating and he had to jump to grab it before it buzzed itself off the edge of the desk. The picture that popped up on the screen was one that Flynn had taken of him and Julie on New Year’s Eve — she was wearing a gold glitter party hat and kissing his cheek while he had a matching gold glitter party horn sticking out of his mouth, and they were both clearly tipsy on cheap champagne, but he loved that picture. He grinned and swiped to answer the call. 

“Hey Julie, what’s up? I thought you were working tonight?”

“Hey Reggie,” Julie’s voice sounded warm and fond on the other end of the line, “I just finished closing down the bar. It’s like 3 AM, did you lose track of time again?”

“Shit, really?” Reggie pulled his phone back and discovered that yes, it was in fact 3:06 AM. The last time he had checked it was just after 10 PM, so that meant he’d been in the same spot for almost five hours. No wonder his back was killing him.

Julie laughed at him, almost like she could picture the look on his face and honestly she probably could. He frequently got caught up with his work, especially on nights like tonight when the song he was working on just wasn't coming together like he wanted. 

Reggie stood up to wander over to his kitchen and it felt like every joint in his body popped - he was getting _old_ , ugh. That wasn’t gonna stop him from eating the rest of the ice cream in his freezer though.

“So what’s up? Are Carrie and Flynn having another sex marathon and you need a place to crash away from the apartment?”

“No, thank God. It’s Flynn’s mom’s birthday today so she’s visiting her family for the weekend.” 

“Oh sweet, I hope she got her an awesome present, like tickets to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter or something.”

Julie laughed again, and Reggie never got tired of hearing it. “I think she got her a nice piece of jewelry, but at least now I know what you want for your birthday, you dork.”

“Aw Jules, you don’t have to get me anything; just having you in my life is the best present I could ever ask for,” Reggie smiled into the phone.

“How are you so sweet?” Julie asked, quietly, and he could almost hear her shaking her head. “I did call for a reason, not just to hear your voice.”

“Ah, so you’re saying that hearing my voice is a perk though!”

Julie snorted but didn’t respond to that comment.

“So, you remember how my car is kinda a piece of shit with a mind of its own?”

Reggie froze with a spoonful of ice cream halfway to his mouth. “Are you ok? Did something happen? Did you break down?”

“I’m fine, calm down,” Julie said, but now that he was listening for it, he could hear the sounds of wind and traffic, so he knew she was standing outside somewhere. “It just won’t start. And I already locked up the bar, so I don’t want to go back inside, and well, Carrie is definitely asleep right now and with Flynn at home, I was hoping you could maybe come pick me up?”

Reggie had already abandoned his late night ice cream snack to grab his wallet and his keys and was jamming on his shoes when he said, “I’m on my way, just try not to get mugged before I get there, ok?”

“Don’t worry, I have my pepper spray and my switchblade.”

“Aren’t those illegal to carry in California?”

“Only if someone snitches on me.”

Reggie shrugged but honestly that was fair. And he used to be in a rock band, he wasn’t a snitch. 

“I’ll be there in twenty minutes, Jules.”

It actually only took him twelve and a half minutes, because Reggie had always considered speed limits to be more like suggestions, really, and anyway it’s not like there were many other people on the road in the middle of the night. And Julie looked relieved to see him pull up next to where she was leaning against the side of an ancient baby blue VW Bug, so he was glad he got there quickly. The surrounding neighborhood was pretty shady. She waved and pulled the passenger door open to hop in his car as soon as he unlocked the doors.

“You’re a lifesaver, Reg, for real,” Julie said, leaning over the center console to give him an awkward one-armed hug. 

“Anything for you, Julie,” he said into her hair and didn’t even regret the sincerity in his voice. “Do you wanna stay over, so I can give you a ride back tomorrow and we can see if your car wants to start then?”

“Yes, please, thank you so much!” She sat back in the passenger seat and pulled her phone out, likely shooting a text to Flynn and Carrie so they wouldn’t freak out when she wasn’t there in the morning. Then she started messing around with the radio dials, flipping through stations until she finally settled on a classic country station they both liked. 

(“You let her mess with your music? In your car?” Alex’s eyebrows had been raised so high that Reggie thought they might vanish into his hairline. 

“What? Why are you so surprised?”

“One time I tried to change it and you almost took my hand off. You’re more protective of your music than anyone I know.” Well, _knew_ , really, but they didn’t talk about him anymore. 

Reggie had shrugged, trying to play it off cool, but he’d never been able to hide anything from Alex, not after everything. “She just has good taste in music, man.”

“Okay,” Alex had rolled his eyes, “Just let me know when the wedding’s gonna be.”

“Fuck off.”)

Reggie drove back to his apartment at a more sedate pace, enjoying the way that LA wasn’t exactly quiet even in the middle of the night, but the darkness gave it that illusion. On the radio, Willie Nelson sang about the girl who was always on his mind and Julie hummed along in the passenger seat, watching the lights stream past the window.

He loved moments like these, when time seemed to stretch out endlessly in front of them. They’d been happening more often recently, every moment he was with Julie seemed to go on for a lifetime. Or maybe that was just wishful thinking, that he could stay magically with her forever and never have to worry about the sun coming up and forcing them back into their real lives. 

Still, he drove an extra lap around his block to try and hold on to the feeling for a few moments longer, and Julie either didn’t notice or didn’t mind. 

Eventually though, the drive came to an end and he pulled into his parking space. He jumped out of the car and ran ahead of Julie to unlock his apartment door and hold it open for her with an exaggerated flourish, earning him a giggle from Julie. 

“The door for you, my lady.”

“Why thank you, good sir,” Julie curtsied with the edge of her black tank top. She kicked off her boots in the entryway before collapsing face first onto his couch with a groan, followed by a sharp noise of pain. Her hand wiggled underneath her for a few seconds before she pulled out a harmonica from between the couch cushions and held it up in the air.

“Really, Reginald? Don’t you have any proper places to store your noisemakers?”

“Hey, those noisemakers pay the rent!” But he still laughed as he took the harmonica from her and put it on his keyboard. It wasn’t like he was realistically going to get any more work done on his song tonight.

In fact, they should probably both go to bed, seeing as it was now after four in the morning. At least it was Sunday and they could be lazy all day. 

“C’mon, you shouldn’t sleep in your jeans, you’ll get a middle of the night wedgie.”

Julie groaned again but peeled herself away from the couch. 

“Tonight was just awful. Mr. Peterson was in a mopey mood, so he sat at the bar and cried about his three ex-wives all night, and the new spray for the counter smells horrible, it gave me the worst headache,” Julie complained as she started rummaging through Reggie’s drawers looking for a pair of sweatpants to borrow. Well, a specific pair of sweatpants. The ones she always borrowed when she stayed over. 

Reggie carefully did not analyze the warm feeling he got seeing how comfortable Julie was in his space. Or the fluttery sensation in his gut when she walked out of the bathroom wearing his clothes. 

Or why his heart started beating so fast when she crawled into bed next to him, curling up against his side and laying her head on his chest. 

Nope. No need to think about those things at all. 

Don’t think about why he always kept those particular sweatpants washed and ready. Don’t think about why he rarely brought home dates anymore. Don’t think about feelings or desires or how easy it could be to let this friendship slide into something else, something _more_. 

Just be cute, quirky, flirty Reggie and play dumb and don’t get the heart involved, because look what happened last time. No, things were better like this — Reggie was good at pining from afar, he’d basically perfected the art. Maybe it hurt, but it was a safe hurt, one that didn’t leave him in pieces on the floor.

Still, that didn’t mean he couldn’t enjoy the moments he did have with Julie. Reggie curled an arm around her shoulders and ran his fingers through her hair, gently massaging her scalp to help ease any headache leftover from her day at work. She sighed and melted against him, her body a brand of warmth everywhere they touched. 

“Thank you,” she murmured, her lips a feather-light caress against his collarbone, sending tingles up under his skin. He could have sworn he felt her press a light kiss there too, but he dismissed it as his imagination running wild. 

He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, inhaling deep the flowery scent of her shampoo, and whispered, “Anything for you, Julie.”

They drifted off to sleep like that, curled close around each other, and Reggie definitely didn’t dream about soft skin and brown hair and things that would never happen. 

Hours later, Reggie blinked awake to find the sun streaming through his paper-thin curtains and Julie staring at him from where she had her hands folded on his chest to prop her head up. 

“That’s kind of creepy, you know?” 

Julie hummed but didn’t move, just kept staring at him as he gradually blinked the sleep out of his eyes. She was gorgeous, the late morning light making her hair glow like a halo, face soft and gazing at him with almost more tenderness than he could handle. 

“Hey Jules,” he whispered, bringing one hand up to tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Julie turned her head into his hand, softly pressing a kiss to the flesh of his palm. 

“Reggie,” she whispered back, “what are we doing?”

He made a soft questioning noise in the back of his throat. “Sleeping, last time I checked.”

She shook her head, hair bouncing with the motion. “Don’t play dumb with me, Reggie. I know how smart you are, you can’t fool me with your act.”

He smiled ruefully. “Then explain to me what you mean.”

“I mean this,” she gestured with her fingers at the space between them. “I mean _us_. I mean the way we are with each other. I mean how I have your crazy coffee order memorized and you have a toothbrush for me in your bathroom. I mean how I sleep over here at least once a week and I haven’t slept on the couch in almost six months because I sleep better in your arms.”

Julie blushed and ducked her head into Reggie’s chest, mumbling, “Every time I see you, I feel like I’m balancing on a tightrope and if I fall, well…”

Reggie felt like he’d been sucker punched with all the feelings he thought he’d been so carefully burying, but he was just as obvious as always, wasn’t he? He was as transparent as glass and anyone who looked could see straight through to his beating heart that was practically screaming his every emotion. He might as well have been wearing a neon sign that said _I’m in love with Julie Molina!_

And wouldn’t it be so easy? He could imagine it now: instead of one night a week, he could have her here every night, he could clear a space for her in his closet that would hold more than just a single pair of sweatpants. He could fall asleep with her in his arms and wake up to her kiss every morning. It could be just like a dream.

He pushed up to sitting and Julie followed him, her legs spreading over his hips so she was perched in his lap, a comforting press against his thighs holding her weight. Every where they touched was blazing with heat in his mind, and he _wanted_ so bad to reach out and take what she was offering.

“Jules, I…” He trailed off, uncertain of how to phrase his thoughts.

But she was always so much braver than him, because she took his face in her hands and forced him to look her in the eyes and stated, “I have feelings for you Reggie, big, scary, romantic ones. And I need to know if I’m totally off base here, but it feels like you—”

He leaned forward and cut her off with a kiss because he couldn’t hear her say it, it would make it too real if she put his feelings into words like that. He kissed her fervently, with every emotion he couldn’t say, with every moment of longing he’d had for the last three years, pouring all of his — yes, he could admit it in his own head, all of his _love_ into the press of their lips. If he only got this one chance, he wanted to make it special. 

Because the thing was, dreams didn’t last. Someday, he would mess up, because that was what he _did_. Because people as amazing as Julie Molina didn’t stay with has-beens like Reggie Peters. She would move on to bigger and better things, brighter and smarter people and Reggie would wish her well and retreat back to his piles of musical instruments to try and patch up his broken heart again. Luke hadn’t needed him and someday Julie wouldn’t either and he just couldn’t let it get that far. 

Julie gasped quietly at the intensity of his kiss, letting her hands fall to his shoulders and clinging tightly. Reggie’s arms wrapped around her waist, pulling her tight against him and he wished that time could stop forever, leave them both in this perfect moment, untainted by what he knew was coming.

Slowly, he gentled their kiss and pulled back just far enough that he could bury his head in the space between her neck and her shoulder. She leaned her face down into his hair and they sat silently and listened to each other catch their breaths for a few short moments.

“I’m sorry,” Reggie said hoarsely against her collarbone and Julie stiffened in his arms, pulling back to look at him, but he couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eyes. 

“What?”

“You’re one of my best friends, Jules, I care about you so damn much,” he shook his head and leaned back, further separating them. “But I just can’t do this.”

“What do you mean, ‘you can’t’?” Julie’s voice sounded incredulous. 

Reggie sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I mean I can’t be in a relationship. It’s not—”

“If you say ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ I might actually scream, what the fuck, Reggie?” She pushed herself to the other end of the bed and he wanted to die at the look of hurt on her face when he knew he had caused it.

“It is though, because you’re _you_ and I’m nowhere near good enough for you, you deserve so much better.”

“Don’t you fucking _dare_ try to tell me what I deserve,” Julie hissed, abruptly standing from the bed. “Don’t you make this about me. I deserve someone who loves me and I don’t know why you’re acting like this right now, because you don’t kiss someone you don’t love like that.”

Julie started grabbing her clothes from the night before, furiously stuffing them into her bag and he could see the way she was blinking back tears, refusing to let them fall.

“Jules—”

“Don’t call me that right now.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you, I just…”

Julie laughed, a short harsh bark. “Well, you fucked that up for sure.”

Reggie didn’t have anything to say to that, didn’t have any way of salvaging this conversation. He had been trying so hard to protect his heart and hadn’t even realized that the damage had already been done. 

Julie paused by his door, typing something on her phone, before she looked back at him. 

“I know you’ve been hurt before, but I’m not that person. What I definitely don’t deserve is to be punished for what they did to you.” She sniffled but still didn’t let any tears fall and that was almost worse than full on crying, because he knew it was because she couldn’t trust him right now. “I can’t force you to want to be with me, but I just wish you wouldn’t lie to me, Reggie.”

Her words were like a knife to his ribs, filling his lungs with blood and stealing his air. He couldn’t speak, he felt like he was drowning and it was his own fault.

“I don’t know if I can be around you for a while. Just, I need some space, okay? To figure out — well, to figure out how to do this, us, again. If there can be an us,” Julie whispered brokenly and then she was gone, slipped out his door and he was left alone, cold and empty and hating himself even more than usual. 

Reggie tipped himself backwards so he was lying in bed, surrounded by the sheets that still smelled like Julie, still held on to the last bits of warmth from her body. She was still everywhere in this apartment, everywhere he looked there was a memory of her here. 

Fuck. 

—

He waited until 2:30 to call Julie — enough time for her to finish cleaning and closing down the bar after her shift ended, but early enough that she shouldn’t have left yet.

She answered the phone with a short, sharp, “What.”

Reggie winced, but asked anyway, “Do you need a ride home?”

“ _Alex_ stayed for my shift and gave me one already.”

That wasn't good. That meant the — Reggie checked his missed call log again — _thirty-eight_ calls that Reggie had been ignoring like a coward were made while sitting at Julie’s bar. That meant they were both pissed at him. And it also meant that Julie left early, so he essentially abandoned her, except —

“You didn’t go home with Luke?” 

It was so incredibly petty, but he could hear the jealousy coloring his voice and he knew that Julie heard it too if the way she snorted down the line was any indication. 

“Oh, so now you wanna talk about Luke?”

“I’m sorry but—”

“Don’t start, Reggie. I don’t — I don’t have the energy for this shit right now.” And Julie sighed and it wasn’t angry anymore, just exhausted and he wanted to die, because how many times could he hurt her, how much of this could have been avoided if he’d just told her everything, the whole truth, right from the beginning. Told her that his heart was secondhand goods, barely holding itself together on a good day, that she should run away from him and his problems.

Instead he’d gone and fallen in love with her and made a mess of everything.

“For the record, Luke left right after you. He just ran off and his phone is turned off and he won’t answer any of my texts or calls or anything,” Julie said in a rush, sounding almost scared, “I was kind of hoping he was with you, actually.”

Reggie leaned his head against his steering wheel, because he hadn’t moved after he’d parked his car in the parking lot of the Waffle House down the street from his apartment. He’d just sat there, staring at the neon sign, the polluted sky too dark to see any stars, and let the static fill his mind to avoid thinking of all the things he’d been burying for years now. 

Of course Luke Patterson would show up now, like the Ghost of Relationships Past. Showing him what he could’ve had, everything he’d ever wanted, dangled in front of his face right after he’d ruined everything all on his own. 

“Julie, you know that Luke—”

“—is in recovery? Yeah, I do. He showed me his one year chip; he got it last week.” Julie sounded quietly proud and Reggie had to bite his tongue against another spike of jealousy because he _hadn’t_ known that, why was he always the last to know things?

“That’s why I’m worried. No one can find him,” she said, concern evident in her voice and goddamn it all but Reggie had never known how to say no to her, never wanted to make her sad, and he knew what he needed to do, even if it was going to hurt like hell.

“Has anyone been to his place? If you know his address, I can go check on him,” Reggie gritted out, every word like glass in his mouth.

Julie was quiet for a long moment and he wondered if she’d hung up on him, still angry, still not trusting him. But then she replied, “I’ll text it to you. Thank you, Reggie.”

And it was on the tip of his tongue to respond with his usual, _Anything for you, Julie_ , but he felt like a liar saying those words, so instead he just said, “Ok,” and hung up.

Looked like the time had come for him to finally face his ghosts, he thought, putting his car into drive and pulling away from the curb.

Anything for Julie. Even if it broke his damn heart.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter title is from "Friends Don't" by Maddie & Tae, which is my ultimate Reggie/Julie song. Willie Nelson's "Always On My Mind" is also mentioned. 
> 
> Thank you for all the love you guys give me! I appreciate all the comments and kudos so much <3 <3


	3. when you love someone, you make room

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out those updated tags, y'all and please don't read anything you're not comfortable with! In my head this is the final bit of the stepping stones 'verse for now and Luke/Julie/Reggie get their happy ending here, but who knows what the future may bring. This chapter is set after the end of 'a demon in my backseat' for timeline purposes.
> 
> Chapter specific content warnings: consensual explicit sexual activity between three adults, including oral sex performed on a cisgender woman and anal sex with a transgender man as the penetrative partner and a cisgender man as the receptive partner, light dom/sub undertones, light dirty talk, use of pet names, brief non-explicit reference to unsafe sexual activity in the past 
> 
> If you want to skip all the smut entirely, I would suggest skipping from the section that starts with "Mornings were always interesting..." to the end, which starts at "The afterglow was wonderful, soft, completely perfect..."
> 
> I wanted to add a note regarding Luke as a trans man in this fic, because I tried really hard to avoid any instances of feminizing language or dysphoric moments for him. He's very comfortable with his gender and his body in this 'verse! He uses a prosthetic cock in this fic and it's referred to as "Luke's cock" or "his prosthetic" and there are no discussions of what his genitalia looks like otherwise. All discussions of feminine genitalia or cunnilingus are in reference to Julie as a cisgender female. As I am not a trans man, I acknowledge that I may have screwed this up in some ways, and if you are concerned or want to reach out, shoot me a comment or find me on tumblr as @where-you-go.

The first time they slept together — well, that’s all they did, _sleep_.

Julie’s apartment was easily the nicest of the three of them, but her apartment came with two nosy roommates. Reggie adored both Flynn and Carrie, even if he was not-so-secretly terrified of both of them, but sometimes he just wanted to kiss his partners without commentary from the peanut gallery. 

Luke didn’t have any human roommates, but Reggie had almost given himself a concussion the last time he was there and saw a cockroach the size of a small dog that caused him to shriek, jump on the counter, and subsequently knock his head on the kitchen cabinets. Julie had to hunt down and kill the thing before he would come down and let them look at the bruise he’d given himself.

So it was really no surprise that they ended up at Reggie’s place most often, even though it was a small, cramped studio that had more instruments than floor space. 

The first time Luke had walked into his apartment though, his face had lit up with a giddy grin at the number of instruments that Reggie had strewn about the place — though he had cleaned and put most of them in their cases, in an effort to make his place look less chaotic than usual. 

“This is so cool,” Luke said, awestruck, and it caused a flicker of pride in Reggie that he’d managed to impress him.

Of course, Julie laughed at them both and said, “The first time I stayed over, I found a flute in the bathroom, Reggie’s the worst about picking up his stuff.” But she gave him a pat on the cheek to soften her words as she pushed past them both to head to the kitchen space. “Come on, I want sushi and you promised we could watch _Hamilton_ tonight.”

“Well, I still think it’s cool that you have all of these instruments here in your home.”

“I did always say I was gonna run away from home and live in a music store,” Reggie shrugged.

Luke quirked his mouth up in a half-smile, “Instead you ran away from home to live with us in a dirty garage.”

“I think it worked out okay in the end,” Reggie smiled, biting his lip. Things were still so new, he was hesitant to reach out a take what he wanted but Luke had always known how to read him like an open book. Luke reached out and curled a hand behind Reggie’s neck to tug him into a soft kiss, one that said _I’m here, I’m not going anywhere._

Reggie liked the new softness of their relationship, was enjoying testing out the new boundaries and discovering the things that fit for them now. And he really, _really_ liked kissing Luke just because he could.

A small cough from the kitchen caused them to pull apart. Julie was looking at them with one raised eyebrow, but she couldn’t hide the dark flush that had settled over her cheeks. 

“Awww, Jules,” Luke smirked and practically bounced across the room, “Don’t be jealous, baby.”

“I’m not jealous!” Julie shrieked as Luke grabbed her around the waist and twirled her around, until her shouts turned to joyous laughter. 

Reggie smiled at their antics but his mind was stuck on how Luke had called her _baby_ , bouncing the sound of it around and around, like an unending echo. _Baby, baby, baby._

Luke had called him _baby_ before, but only once, on the best and worst night of his life. Reggie couldn’t decide if he loved or hated that word, but just the sound of it sent a shock of want ricocheting through his whole body. 

He wanted to hear it again.

“Reg? You ok?” Luke had paused, still holding Julie up off the ground by her waist, but they were both looking at him quizzically and he realized he must’ve gotten lost in his thoughts.

“Yeah, of course,” he said, clearing his throat and smiling like everything was normal. “Let’s eat! I love this sushi place and _Hamilton_ is amazing, I can’t believe you’ve never seen it.”

Julie and Luke gave each other a look, but didn’t say anything, so Reggie just started pulling out plates for their food. They all moved to his couch, which was barely big enough for three grown adults, but it wasn’t like it was a hardship, being forced to squeeze together. It helped when they finished eating and Julie decided she wanted cuddles, wiggling her way under Reggie’s arm and leaning against his chest, throwing her legs over Luke’s lap and dragging him closer as well. 

Surrounded by warmth and Luke playing with her curls, Reggie wasn’t surprised to find that Julie was fast asleep by the time that Thomas Jefferson had come home for his first cabinet meeting. Eventually, Reggie himself felt sleep dragging at his eyelids, the gentle cadence of Angelica singing about the Hamilton’s move uptown pulling him under. 

He woke, sluggishly, to a hand softly running through his hair. When he finally got his eyes opened fully, he could see that the room was dark except for the light of the TV paused on the credits, giving everything a soft shade of unreality. Julie was deep asleep, a dark head of hair curled up on his chest, and that sight nearly stole his breath, what a privilege he never thought he’d get to have again. And crouched next to the couch, his fingers still tangled in Reggie’s hair, was Luke gazing at him, eyes filled with some kind of soft wonder. Reggie was familiar with the feeling, like he couldn’t believe he was actually here.

“Hey, baby,” Luke whispered and Reggie’s heart stuttered in his chest. He made a soft, punched-out noise in the back of his throat. Luke frowned, concerned. “What’s wrong?” He asked, pitching his voice low to keep from waking Julie.

“Nothing,” Reggie’s voice was raspy with sleep. “It’s just — you called me baby.”

Luke tilted his head, questioning. “Do you not like it when I call you that? I can stop.”

“No!” Reggie said and then froze when Julie shifted, but she didn’t wake. “I mean, you called me that, back before, you know. Everything. The first time we — we kissed. I know you don’t remember but I — I used to think about it all the time. I still do.”

“I am so sorry — I didn’t know, I’ll stop,” Luke’s face looked devastated and he was leaning away, like he might leave and Reggie didn’t want that at all, so he reached over and yanked him back by the collar of his shirt, kissing him to stop the apologies coming from his mouth. 

“Please don’t stop,” Reggie murmured into Luke’s mouth, sleep making him bold. “I meant, I liked it then and I like it now. When you call me baby. You can call me that whenever you want.”

“Oh, ok then,” Luke smiled and kissed him again and if this was a dream Reggie never wanted to wake up. “In that case, you should come to bed, _baby_ , so you don’t wake up with a crick in your neck.”

Reggie shivered at the sound and Luke’s eyes gleamed in the dark, with a look that left him burning all over. It was too much, too soon, but it didn’t mean that Reggie didn’t want it too. Someday.

Between the two of them, they somehow managed to maneuver Julie into bed without waking her. They curled up on either side of her, two closed parentheses holding something precious while they drifted off to sleep.

(The next morning, he woke up and Julie had her hands propping her head up on his chest and the déjà vu hit him so violently he almost rolled off the bed. But Julie just smiled and said, “I missed this,” and kissed him. And despite their morning breath and Luke’s snoring, it was perfect.)

—

So then it was a thing. Them sleeping — just _sleeping_ — at Reggie’s apartment, multiple nights a week. They always woke up in a tangled sprawl of limbs, mostly because Luke and Julie both slept like wiggly starfish, spread out and taking up as much room as possible, and Reggie had a tendency to latch onto the nearest other person, or even, on one memorable occasion, his banjo.

Julie brought his sweatpants back, but continued to steal them at every opportunity. Reggie found himself clearing out space in his closet for the clothes they left lying around. Luke, not nearly as subtle as he thought he was, kept dropping hints about when his lease would be up.

And he kept calling Reggie _baby_. 

He said it when he picked up the phone, dropped it in casual conversation, used it to say good night or good morning or how are you or ask about the weather. And every time Reggie’s gut turned to molten heat, and he knew — he _knew_ — that’s why Luke kept saying it. Because he knew what it did to him, how much it made Reggie want him.

And then. Then _Julie_ started doing it too. 

They were supposed to be working on their music, and that was a fun change for Reggie, writing songs because he wanted to again, not just to get a paycheck. He could admit that writing music as a job sometimes drained the spark out of him and for a while he had churned out quite a few country songs that had all sounded the same, not that the studio had noticed.

But writing with Julie and Luke was like staring at the sun, their vibrance building off of each other until it was nearly overwhelming. He’d go blind before he ever looked away from their bright energy, captivated as he was.

And then Julie came up behind where he was sitting at his keyboard and draped herself over his shoulders, pressing a soft kiss to the side of his neck, and gently moved his hands to a different placement, murmuring, “What about this chord instead, _baby_?”

Reggie choked on nothing at the unexpected spike of lust that ran through his body and he nearly came in his pants like he was a teenager again.

He could feel the quirk of Julie’s lips against his neck and Luke was staring at them both with a dark gaze and a similar smirk, and Reggie was lit up on the inside with desire like he’d never felt before. He didn’t know he could feel this much for other people, but he didn’t think he’d ever be here either, so he really was learning all sorts of new things about himself, wasn’t he.

—

Mornings were always interesting after Luke and Julie stayed over, mostly because Reggie was one of those rare morning people who could pop awake in an instant to cheerfully greet the sun. Julie and Luke, on the other hand, were definitely not.

Reggie left Luke sprawled in his bed, while a bleary-eyed Julie followed him into the kitchen and hopped up onto the counter, whining and making grabby hands at the empty coffee pot. 

“You know it works better if you put the coffee in first,” Reggie laughed, but still filled the machine with coffee grounds and water when Julie pouted at him. He hoped she never asked him to do anything illegal, because he was coming to realize that he couldn't deny her anything.

The machine beeped and Reggie offered Julie the first cup of coffee in his favorite ‘bassists do it deeper’ mug, just because he enjoyed watching her face light up. 

“Mmmm, you spoil me,” Julie hummed, cradling the mug in two hands and using her feet to drag Reggie closer to the counter, so that he was standing between her legs. 

He let his hands rest on her hips, where the soft edges of the cut-off shirt she had stolen from Luke met the waistband of his sweatpants, and stole a sip of coffee. “You’re worth it,” he whispered and her smile sent tingles down his spine.

Reggie wasn’t sure how long they stood there, trading coffee-flavored kisses and enjoying the soft morning sunlight, when he heard Luke’s bare feet on the kitchen tile and there was a sudden warm presence crowding up against his back, pushing him even further into Julie’s embrace. Luke nuzzled his face into the curve of Reggie’s neck, trailing sloppy kisses over the exposed skin. 

“Good morning, Luke, nice of you to join us,” Julie laughed at him.

“Hm, g’morning Julie,” Luke mumbled, trailing his mouth up behind Reggie’s ear so he could feel the vibrations of his voice when he said, “Good morning, _baby_ ,” and Reggie couldn’t help himself, he _whimpered_.

The sound of Julie setting down the coffee mug was as loud as a gunshot in the early morning quiet of his kitchen, before her hands were gripping at his hair and she was ravaging his mouth, kissing him like she might die if she didn’t get him as close as possible. Reggie’s hands clenched into the soft flesh of her sides, dragging her to the edge of the counter as Luke pushed him forward, sandwiching him between their unbelievable heat. Luke bit into the meat of his shoulder and Reggie gasped, pulling back from Julie’s mouth to pant into her neck.

“Fuck, Luke, you were right, he likes it _so much_ ,” Julie said, wonderingly.

“I told you so,” came Luke’s smug response, in between gentle kisses and harder nips.

They were talking about him but Reggie’s head was already spinning from lust and having these two amazing people this close to him, the swell of Julie’s breasts pressing against his shirtless chest, separated by only the thin layer of Luke’s shirt, and Luke himself grinding his pelvis forward into Reggie’s ass. All the blood had abandoned Reggie’s brain and gone straight to his cock, which was harder than he’d ever been in his life. 

Almost as if she knew what he was thinking, Julie braced her hands on the counter and lifted her hips up to grind against Reggie’s dick, where it was tenting his sleep pants, and he clenched his eyes shut and _moaned_. 

“Oh my _god_ ,” Luke gasped out against the back of his neck and then there were hands in his hair, dragging his face up and to the side so that Luke could kiss him sloppily over his shoulder and it was messy and glorious and Reggie never wanted this to end.

Julie’s hands were running over his chest, tweaking his nipples with her fingernails, and her mouth was on his neck, biting at his ear lobe, murmuring, “Talk to us, Reggie, baby, what do you want?”

Want was all Reggie knew right now, it curled up between his ribs and set fire to his mind, he couldn’t think beyond everything that he wanted right then. He wanted everything they’d give him, anything at all, for as long as they wanted it. He wanted to hold them close enough that they’d become tangled in one another, muscle and skin and sinew molding and shifting and pulling them all into each other, so that three hearts would always beat as one.

Because honestly, what he wanted was — well, what he’d always wanted. A place his heart could call home. Someone to decide he was enough, someone to choose him and all his weird broken parts despite every opportunity to walk away. 

Someone who wanted to stay.

Hadn’t they given him that? Hadn’t Luke and Julie proven that they weren’t going anywhere, not anymore, and if they did they were planning on bringing him with them? They’d all made promises to each other, right at the start of this thing, promises they each intended on keeping. 

_Never again_ , Luke had said, and it had sounded like a vow. 

What did he want? Reggie wanted to trust them, no matter how terrifying he found the idea.

“Reg?” Luke asked quietly, pulling him back to the present, before he could get too lost in his own thoughts.

Julie and Luke had both paused their actions and were just looking at him, softly, patiently. Waiting for him, he realized. Like they knew it was going to take him a minute to catch up, but they didn’t mind.

_Oh._ They really did love him, just as much as he loved them.

Some deep warmth blossomed in Reggie’s chest and settled in his bones and maybe that made him brave or crazy or just a man in love, but with a twist of his body he grabbed Luke’s face and pulled him in for a searing kiss, desperate to share this new feeling, like he could push the sensation through his mouth, breathe it into Luke’s body and light him up with the same energy. 

“I want you to fuck me,” Reggie growled against Luke’s mouth and Luke’s whole body jerked against him, his mouth dropping open in a surprised “o,” like he hadn’t actually expected that despite all his teasing. 

Julie let out a breathless, “holy fuck,” before she was grabbing at Luke’s face as well, dragging him closer to her and kissing him over Reggie’s shoulder. Her kiss was intense but brief before she pulled back to ask, “Do you have your—”

“Yeah, but it’s in my bag, I don’t sleep with it on—”

“Well, go get ready then, we’ll meet you back at the bed. Sound good?”

“Is that good with you, Reg?” Luke asked, looking him in the eyes, needing to know for sure. 

Reggie had never been more sure of anything in his life. “Yeah, we’ll meet you there.”

Luke winked and then practically ran to find his bag. Julie laughed, a beautiful, delightful sound and Reggie couldn't stop himself from kissing her again. He hitched her legs up around his waist and pulled her off the counter, twirling her around just once to hear her squeal, “put me down!” but she was still smiling, still laughing. He hadn’t known he could feel joy like this, but _oh,_ nothing had ever felt more right.

Reggie finally dropped Julie on the bed where she landed with a bounce and a giggle. 

“Go get lube and condoms, I know you have some,” Julie commanded him, leaning back on her elbows and how could he deny her anything she wanted, especially that?

Reggie dug through his drawers, finally finding some (thankfully, not expired) condoms and a bottle of lube in the back of the drawer that held his extra guitar picks and strings. He was vaguely thinking that maybe he should be better about organizing his things, when he turned around and every thought was wiped from his mind.

Julie had taken off her stolen clothes, tossed them over the edge of the bed and was lounging against his pillow with every inch of her body on glorious display. She was a vision, early morning sunlight giving her skin a golden glow, contrasting the rumpled white sheets around her legs. Waves of dark messy curls cascaded over her shoulders, just brushing the tops of her perfect breasts and Reggie wanted to fall on his knees and worship her forever. 

The noise of the bathroom door opening pulled his attention away from the goddess in his bed, and then Luke was standing there, also gloriously naked, looking like something out of his wildest dreams. Reggie’s eyes traced along the firm muscles of his arms, over his chest and down his abdomen, where they converged into the vee of his hipbones, pointing straight at the cock that stood stiff, bouncing with every movement but held tight to his pelvis by dark leather straps. 

Reggie made a noise in high his throat and clutched at the items in his hand, torn between the two of them and frozen in place. 

“I think we broke him, Jules,” Luke grinned, smug as hell, but it wasn’t like he was wrong.

Julie just rolled her eyes and held her hand out to Reggie, saying softly but firmly, “Come here, baby.”

And of course he couldn’t resist that, so he tossed the supplies on the other side of the bed and then let himself fall into Julie’s waiting embrace. He crouched on his knees between Julie’s spread legs and pressed kisses into every available part of her, starting at her neck and trailing his lips down to her breasts. He caught her nipples between his teeth and tugged gently, enjoying the way her breath hitched and she dug her hands into his hair. 

The bed shifted and then Luke was behind him again, running his hands over Reggie’s exposed back until it met the waistband of his pants.

“Why are you still wearing clothes?” Luke’s voice sounded like he was pouting and Reggie could picture it in his mind. 

“Got distracted,” Reggie said, without picking his head up, “Do you wanna fix that for me?”

Luke growled, wasting no time in slipping his fingers into Reggie’s pants and yanking them down and off. He plastered himself to Reggie’s backside, fitting his mouth to the knobs of his spine and kissing his way down. Reggie could feel Luke’s hard cock pressing against his ass and it was driving him crazy with how much he wanted that in him. He shoved his hips back just to hear Luke moan.

“Reggie,” Luke panted against his back, warm breath causing goosebumps to spread down his skin. “Baby, have you ever, you know—”

“Been fucked in the ass?” The words were so crude, but they both jerked against him, like they couldn’t imagine their adorable Reggie saying such filthy words and he loved it, loved catching them off guard like this. “Yes, a couple of times. It’s been a while though, so you’ll need to go slow.”

Maybe another time he’d tell them about those dark days after Sunset Curve had imploded when he’d gone out searching for someone to make it hurt. He hadn’t wanted comfort or safety, he’d just wanted to feel something again and had found several people who’d been more than happy to take him up on his, in retrospect, rather foolish offer. But this wasn’t the moment, not when Luke was whispering soft reassurances against his skin and Julie was looking at him like he was something precious. 

He leaned up to kiss her, briefly, before dropping his head down to nuzzle the curls that sat at the join of her thighs, pushing them open to be able to move his face deeper, nudging apart the slick folds of her pussy with his lips in order to languidly push his tongue in and out of her center. Julie cried out and clenched her hands in his hair so he couldn’t move even if there was anything else on this earth he’d rather be doing than giving her pleasure. 

He didn’t jump when he felt the cool press of Luke’s slicked up finger on the edge of his hole, but it was a close thing. But Luke didn’t press in right away, just massaged the tight rim, gently driving Reggie wild with pleasure that he couldn’t do anything about, he couldn’t even move, as tightly held as he was by Julie’s hands and thighs around his head and Luke bracing his hips, he was completely at their mercy. 

He loved it. He loved _them_ , and maybe that made all the difference.

The firm pressure of Luke’s finger pushing into his hole made Reggie groan; it had been a while but he hadn’t forgotten how good it had felt to be in this position. Luke kept his finger still, but Reggie wanted more, wanted _everything_ , right now, even though he knew it would hurt but he didn’t care. All he could do though was whine, until Julie tugged sharply on his hair, reminding him of where his focus should be.

“Come on, baby, yes that’s good, right there,” Julie hissed and said, “He’s so good at this Luke, his mouth is so good. He’ll look so pretty with your cock in his mouth, what do you think?”

“Yes, _god_ , there’s so many things he’ll look so pretty doing, I can’t wait to try them all,” Luke groaned and shoved his finger as deep as he could get it, before pulling out and adding a second finger to _finally_ begin to move at a steady pace, pulling and stretching him more open than he’d ever been. 

Reggie let himself get lost in the rhythm they’d set, Luke’s fingers fucking in and out of him, Julie grinding against his face, and everything felt hazy and warm and perfect and if he could stop the world in this moment, he would, he would never choose to leave.

His teeth skimmed over Julie’s clit and she jerked her hips up with a shriek, so Reggie sucked the sensitive nub into his mouth and frantically flickered his tongue over it, enjoying how her legs and hands spasmed on his shoulders. She cried out his name as she fell apart, wetness soaking his chin and the sheets underneath her. He didn’t stop until she forced him to, yanking on his head and pulling him up to kiss her own come off of his lips. At the same moment, Luke curled his fingers and found a spot that made Reggie see stars behind his eyes and groan into Julie’s mouth.

“Please, please,” Reggie whimpered against her lips, and he could feel it when she smiled.

“We’ve got you, baby,” she murmured and then Luke’s fingers were slipping out of him but he didn’t even have time to object before they were manhandling him over onto his back, propped up against Julie. Luke was sliding a condom on, slicking himself up with a handful of lube and Reggie wanted to reach out and touch, but Julie had his hands held tightly in hers, pulling his arms back and holding him down. He should’ve felt helpless, but instead he just felt safe, secured between them, trusting that they wouldn’t let him fall, wouldn’t leave him broken on the floor. 

Luke pushed his thighs apart and hitched them up around his waist to get a better angle, so he was lined up, head of his cock nudging at Reggie’s slick hole and he clenched around nothing in anticipation. But Luke paused for a moment and leaned over to place the gentlest kiss against Reggie’s mouth. It felt like a promise, like a soothing balm against Reggie’s worst fears, hushing the voices in his head that whispered that he would wake up alone the next day to find that Luke had forgotten him again.

“I love you,” Luke said softly and Reggie’s breath caught in his chest. “You ready, baby?”

“Yes, fuck, please,” Reggie shouted as Luke slowly started to push into him, his cock a wide stretch that burned so good, filling him up and taking him over like nothing he’d ever felt. He clenched his hands around Julie’s fingers, overwhelmed with sensation, but she held him tight, grounding him, pressing kisses and bites to his neck and shoulders.

Just when he thought he couldn’t take another second, Luke bottomed out, his hips pressed tightly against the underside of Reggie’s thighs. But he had barely a moment to catch his breath before Luke was moving again, alternating between long strokes in and out and grinding his full length deep into him. Reggie couldn’t keep the time of the melody in Luke’s head, but Julie seemed to know it, whispering filthy words in his ear like another layer of the harmony of their cries and it was the most perfect song he’d ever heard.

Julie released one hand and reached down to grab Reggie’s dick and it was almost too much for him to handle. He was soaking wet, precome pouring out the tip and coating her hand, making it easy for her to stroke him up and down, in time with Luke’s thrusts.

“I wanna see you come on Luke’s cock, can you do that for me, baby?” 

Reggie was nodding frantically, a chorus of yeses and cries falling from his lips that he couldn’t stop, so close already, balancing on the edge of a cliff and needing just the slightest push to fall over, when Luke reached out to grab his free hand, bending forward just slightly to change the angle of his thrusts and said, “Look at me, Reg, I wanna see your eyes.”

That was all he needed, apparently. The look of pure devotion in Luke’s eyes as he gazed at him was enough to cause his orgasm to crash through his body, all of his muscles to seizing up and come shooting over his abdomen and chest, dripping over Julie’s fingers as she worked him through it. 

Luke groaned and cursed, grinding his cock as deep as he could get inside of Reggie, every movement lighting up his oversensitive nerve endings, until Luke was shuddering and crying out, collapsing onto Reggie’s chest as he rode out the waves of his own orgasm. 

Reggie wasn’t sure how long they stayed like that, a warm cuddle pile of sticky, naked flesh, but he let his mind continue to float on the endorphins, drifting happily sandwiched between his two favorite people. 

The afterglow was wonderful, soft, completely perfect until —

“Um, I love you guys, but my legs are starting to go numb,” Julie said, a touch awkwardly. Reggie couldn’t hold back a bizarre snort-laugh, which was like a chain reaction that set off giggles in all three of them.

Reggie poked Luke in the side, which only caused him to giggle more, and said, “Get off me, you’re heavy.”

“Hey!”

“You’re _both_ heavy, and sticky and I want a shower,” Julie declared, shoving at their shoulders to get them to move. 

It took some finagling to get them untangled and upright, but the promise of a shower was very motivating. Even if they had to take turns in the tiny shower of his apartment. But Julie taking the first shower was a good excuse for Reggie to continue cuddling with Luke, wrapping himself around him like a clingy octopus even as Luke stood at the sink to wash his prosthetic.

“When Julie and the Phantoms makes it big, we’re gonna buy a house with a huge shower that can fit three people all at once. A bath, too,” Reggie mumbled into Luke’s bare shoulder. In the mirror, he could see Luke grin and shake his head. “What?”

“Nothing,” Luke said, “It’s just, you know, nice to think of us in the future. Still together and in love and, like, building a life together. It’s just nice to hear you say it out loud, I guess, so I know I’m not the only one thinking about it.”

Reggie ducked his head to hide his blush, but he could feel the heat of his face and, embarrassingly enough, tears gathering at the edges of his eyes.

“Reggie?” Luke twisted his head to try and see his face, “Baby?”

And that did make Reggie sob, loud enough that Julie stuck her head out from the shower curtain and asked, “What’s wrong? Luke, what did you do?”  
Luke yelped and held his soapy hands up, “Nothing!”

And then Reggie was laughing and crying at the same time and he couldn’t even explain why, only that every emotion seemed to be magnified times a trillion and they were all happening all at once, a kaleidoscope of feeling twisting around inside him. 

Reggie was falling, head over heels, but what an insane rush to know that there was someone waiting to catch him this time. He knew there would be a soft place to land and it was terrifying and exhilarating at the same time. He didn’t know what was going to happen next, but for the first time in years he was excited to find out.

Luke turned around and grabbed his face between two wet hands, and then Julie, wrapped in his favorite fluffy blue towel, wiggled her way into the circle of their arms, wet hair dripping water all over them. Reggie was tired and sticky and sore in all sorts of new places, but he had never felt better in his whole life, holding both of them in his arms, warm and close and so in love he could burst.

“Are you ok?” Julie asked quietly, searching his face. 

“Yeah, Jules,” Reggie sighed, pulling them both close and dropping a kiss on Luke’s cheek and another on Julie’s hair, “I’m great.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter and fic title are both taken from "Love Someone" by Lukas Graham, which is precious and sappy just like these nerds.
> 
> There it is folx! I'm so grateful to everyone who came on this journey with me. I know that JatP is a baby fandom and explicit fics do not seem to be the norm, so thank y'all so much for sticking around for this fic. I hope I delivered on all those happy endings I promised, despite all the heavy themes and angst I forced them through first.
> 
> Shout out to @merihn, without whom I would never have been brave enough to finish or post this fic. I love being in this fandom and now I'm on tumblr as @where-you-go, even though I have no idea what I'm doing! But anyone who wants to can come say hi! I'd love to answer any questions or just gush about my OT3 or whatever. 
> 
> And everyone who's commented or kudosed, y'all are seriously the best!! <3 <3

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be updating the tags as we go on this one, and chapter 3 is essentially just porn with feelings. If that's what you're here for, great! If not, the back button is right there, thanks for stopping by.


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